I was reading a demographic description of a church today and I saw something that made me so very mad. It said that their congregation has 5 children under 10 years old; 10 teenagers and 20s; and an even mixture of people in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and 60s.
Do you see anything wrong with this??? I do, and I am becoming increasing frustrated with our society. People say that we are the "future" and they need to listen to us, but when it comes time to actually listen or count, we get pushed aside and put into the "to young to know any better" category.
I was told once by a boss that I didn't know anything because I was too young to know. She said that she was my age once and thought she knew everything and that I am the same way. I think I know everything. (Well, when she is 50 and doesn't know how to run the internet and I obviously do, I think I know something.)
Anyway, religious institutions frustrate me also. They say that they are fading away and the only way they can stay alive is to bring in younger people. Well, when it comes time for those younger people to become a part of that religious institution they don't listen to them and they push them aside telling them that they don't know anything! No wonder churches cannot hold on to their young people.
When they are pushed out and told that until they are 40 years old they don't matter, the church shouldn't count on them being there till they are 40 years old. By then, however, those people will be stuck in their ways and won't go back to church. Therefore, the church, or religious institution, will cease to exist!
Oh, I am just sooo frustrated. How can religious people be sooooo dense? Don't they remember when they were that age? Well, they might, but they weren't allowed to have any control either. So once they finally did get some control, they are hanging on to it and just doing the same thing their elders did to them!
As my husband has said about this same thing "You can either bang your head against the wall and drive yourself crazy...or you can quite caring and only look out for yourself and say who cares about anyone or anything else. Why do you think our generation has turned out the way we are? When people comment that our generation is a bunch of selfish people that only care about themselves...this is exactly why!"
Why do you think a lot of the people in our generation like the mega church. So they can walk in, sit down, not connect with anyone, and not have to worry about being told they don't matter. Mega churches are florishing because the younger generations don't have to care and don't have to worry about their ideas being shot down every time they present one because they are "too young to know any better."
I better stop now. I am just frustrated.... Any thoughts would be welcome....
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4 comments:
I understand your frustration. Luckily, not every church is like that. Dan and I are the only 20's couple in our church(I think). They were very receptive of our ideas when we came... got to start a praise band, help with the youth and they took our suggestions for lots of stuff. We didn't have to find a megachurch, we have less than 100 every Sunday. Maybe it is the environment that is fostered by your pastor and elders. Make connections with older families and build relationships where they respect you and what you have to contribute.
It definiltey sounds like you're frustrated! I can't relate to that, though, sorry...our church (possibly because of our location in Laramie) has many 20-somethings, and many 30-40-50-60-70 and even 80-somethings! I think it has to do with church leadership and what their goals for the church are and how they are listening to God lead.
Maybe you should move here and go to LVC with us! :) (Our 'young couples' small group has 10-20 couples meeting every Monday!!)
Maybe you should consider being a minister. It sounds like you have the inclusive spirit to bring people of all ages into relationships with each other and God.
I have shared your frustration. When I ministered in the PC(USA) I felt completely marginalized. Now I am in an ecumenical church and there is a much more broad intergenerational thinking. It is a gift to have the wisdom and folly of all ages in the church. I for one don't buy what your boss said. Usually, the people who think that they were open minded and thinking when they were in their 20's where probably not much different than they are in their 50's. They just have a greater nostalgia for "how it was."
Hi, I just happened on your blog and wanted to comment. I'm a PCUSA pastor and I'm the 3rd youngest adult in my church. I have two wonderful 20-somethings and I'm 35. Everyone else is over 70. It's even hard for me to feel like my ideas are important sometimes, but here's what I wanted to tell you. The only way to bring about change is to be the change you want to see. (I think Mother Theresa said that). Most pastors would be thrilled to have you in their churches . . . I know I would. But we can't make room for you if you don't tell us what you want and help to bring it about. That's part of why we often feel so stuck. We need you to lead US! And we would welcome it because you have a connection to people that obviously we don't. So I'll continue to be the 30-something adult if you'll be the 20-something adult. And yes, I KNOW you're not a youth!
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