A dose of conviction

Have you ever been sitting in a room full of women, most of them 40 years your senior, and heard the voice of the the Almighty God??

Well, I have been having that experience a couple of times this weekend and I have been loving every second of it.

I am at the American Baptist Women's Ministries of Colorado Winter Retreat at the Franciscan Retreat Center in Colorado Springs. This place is a beautiful, peaceful, serene place. It is a retreat center run by the Sisters of the Convent of Mt. St. Francis. Wonderful and very spiritual place. It is the perfect place to hear the voice of God.

I did not expect it to happen, but happen it did. More than once.

Friday evening, we started the retreat with an introduction and teaching from our speaker, the National ABWM President Terri Simpkins. She introduced herself and gave some of her life story. One bit stuck with me, and I knew it was God talking to me. She said that one of her sons (5 at the time) asked if Romans 8:28 was in his Bible. Just to save you some time here it is:

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love
him, who have been called according to his purpose."

I knew not what it meant for me at the time, but I felt the tug on my heart that I should study that verse some more before I tucked into bed on Friday.

So, turning in for the night, I sat on my little twin bed in the small 9x9 room I am in and read Romans 8, the whole chapter. I stopped and wrote down the verses that touched me in the moment.

"For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all.
Who hopes for what they already have? But if we hope for what we do not yet
have, we wait for it patiently." - Romans 8:24-25

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,
neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth,
nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of
God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." - Romans 8:38-39

Do you see anything that could be relevant to me in those verses? I did, and I knew that God led me to these verses through Terri.

"But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." What a conviction to a heart that is craving and wanting something that only God can give me! Many of you know that patience is not one of my virtues, but I have had to acquire a strong taste for it.

James and I have been trying for almost 2 years now to conceive a child, yet God has told us to "Wait!" We are to wait patiently. God just told me so last night.

I have felt far from God in these last couple of months. Why? I am not certain. Is it because I have been so busy with the holidays? Probably. Is it because we have been in a rut with our church? Possibly. Is it because I have been searching for something that has been there all the time? I don't know what I mean by that, but probably. I just know that I haven't been relying on God to show me His Will for me. I have been praying for it, but not earnestly.

So after my "epiphany" on Friday night I was expecting great things from the teaching this morning. And was I ever surprised to find that God was still there wanting me to hear his voice.

"Are you expecting a miracle? You won't get one if you don't expect one."

That is what Terri said this morning. What a strong statement to a women who just told her husband two nights ago that she was not confident that this round of Clomid would work!

God is preparing me and preparing my heart for what is to come. I know not if He is going to provide that miracle to me immediately, but I do know that we will get our miracle. I believe we will. I "expect" that miracle.

All the words that were coming out of Terri's mouth today seemed pointed directly at me. God had opened up my heart to receive those words and put them into action. I heard His voice more times in these last 30 hours than I have in the last (at least) 2 years.

I can only hope and pray that God keeps my ears open so I can hear, my eyes open so I can see, and my heart open so I can receive and discern His will for me, and for me and James as a family.
I know, I ran long, but I just had to share with you wonderful people who read my blog!!! :) I hope you all have a blessed day on Sunday and remember to open your eyes, ears, and heart to learn what God wants you to know.