1 Year Birthday Party and some other milestones!!

I'll just start out with dates and work my way up to telling the story. There are a lot of pictures and a LOT of things to say. Take your time!! Don't get overwhelmed. You may need to pause and go get some water, but join back when you think you can keep going!! (hehehehe)

August 9

James and I got the boys some floor mats that we have put out on our wooden patio in our back yard. I was having to put down blankets so they could be outside, but that got to be a pain. The dog would walk all over them and get them dirty so I would end up doing a lot of laundry. So this works great cause I can just hose it off. The boys love the sound it makes when they run their feet over it really fast. It is really nice to have. If only we had a gazebo or something to keep the sun off it. The picture shows our table umbrella, but that isn't a good solution. Oh well. We only have a couple more months that we will be able to be outside anyway.


August 10

I did a small photo shoot with the boys. They were watching tv so I got all smiles, but no one looking at the camera! :)

We also had a get-together with our Mom's group from church at a park in town. It was a really nice day. Lots of people were in the park. I took a cake for the boys' birthday to share. It was a hit. But, the boys had to take a nap while everyone else (who didn't need a nap) was down playing in the creek. I put their bassinets from their stroller under a tree and they slept well there. I think they slept for a good hour and a half.

One of the highlights of the park is the miniature train that runs around the park. The boys just went crazy looking at it every time it would pass. We didn't ride it because it was $1.50 a person (and I don't know how much they would have enjoyed riding). They did just fine just watching it go by.


August 11

More pictures of the boys. Here is Grant. He LOVES the camera. Can you tell?

Alex was trying to take the camera away from me.

We emptied a diaper box and I decided to let Ethan play in it. He stayed in this spot for over an hour. He played and played. He complained once I took him out, but it was nap time. Needless to say we have that box hanging around now.


August 12

My miracle babies turned 1 year old. I took quite a few pictures of them because I was trying to get comparison pictures (see post below for those pictures). Here are a few of the "blooper" pictures. Alex tried to bite Grant. He can't quite dig his teeth in yet, but he is trying. Needless to say, we are trying to nip that in the bud pretty quickly so it doesn't get worse.

Here is my cutie-pie Ethan!! :)

1 year old! Can you believe we made it? Some days I can't. It was a LONG hard road this first year. I have laughed more, cried more, and gotten less sleep that I ever thought I would. But, it has also been a wonderful year. I can't imagine not having these three in my life! Ethan, Alex and Grant...


August 14

We held the boys' 1 year birthday party at my parents' house. We had about 30 people come over and help us celebrate. We started off with some tacos and then opened presents. The boys got to see their cake, but then needed a bottle and a nap. Then they got to have a bit of cake. Here are a few pictures from the day.

Alex and Madison Cone (my bff's oldest who is 5 months older than the boys).

During the party, Great-Aunt Donna joined in via Skype. It was really cool. She got to watch as the presents were being opened. Then Grant talked to her on the computer. Well, he more or less just watched her talk to him. It was fun though.

This is my cousins Ryan and Alecia. My best friend Jami and her baby Emma. Me and my cousin Jeromy.

Preparing to dive into the presents.

Ethan reading a card (well, maybe not reading, but playing with it!!)

Ethan was a bit fussy during the beginning of the presents, so Great-Aunt Mimi rescued him and put him in a gift bag. He sat there for the rest of the party and played with the bag and the tissue paper.

Grant LOVED all the attention.

Alex's lips started turning blue from the tissue paper going to his mouth. So, Aunt Mimi took away all tissue paper with color. They didn't seem to mind.

It was quite the ordeal, but it was fun. The boys got some GREAT presents that they love to play with and a ton of clothes to wear during the winter months. Thank you to everyone who gave to us. What wonderful friends and family we have!! :)

Grandpa help Alex play with the wheels on the truck. Alex LOVES wheels. He cried the other day at our church group because some bigger kids were playing in the Little Tikes cars and he wanted to spin the wheels on them. We finally tipped one car on it's side so he could play with the wheels.

Here is my first attempt at decorating a cake. We bought the cake from a bakery with just plain white frosting and the green edging. I did the rest of the cake. The A, 1, and G are supposed to kind of be clouds (that is why they are white. The bird in the middle is Chica from "The Sunny Side Up Show" on the Sprout channel. The boys love watching Chica in the mornings. The barn is what they call the Sunshine Barn.

I have to tell you what everything is, because I feel inventive and maybe you might want to use some of my ideas (who knows.) But anyway... The sky and grass are colored sprinkles. I put those on last, very heavy, and used a fork to spread them around. The brown parts of the barn are a chocolate cookie icing that hardens. Chica's nest is something called Mix-Ins. It is chunks of Butterfinger crushed up with some chocolate sprinkles (It was the most demanded section of the cake when it came time to serve the cake.) The rest is just the normal off the shelf frosting. I cut out some templates from pictures online and pressed them into the white icing to get outlines. I then filled the different colors in and drew on the outlines. It was fun to do. I can't wait to see what I get to do next year!! :)

So we set the boys behind the cake to get a picture of them and the cake. So what does Ethan do? He tries to grab a hold of the cake.

Once he realized it wasn't solid he held his hands up like he was saying "ewwwww".

But, someone else was watching him do that. Alex decided it was his turn. They got a bit messy, but it was fun for them. (We didn't do individual cakes for them because I didn't think they would dive into them or even touch them.)

The boys didn't get to eat cake in front of the whole group because they needed to have a bottle and take a nap. They were pretty worn out from the day. But once they got up from their nap, I decided to see what they would do with a small piece of cake.

They kind of touched it. We had to feed it to them. The sort of liked it, but they would not feed themselves. That's ok. It is taking them time to figure that out.

Grant thought the cake itself was pretty good, but the frosting wasn't his favorite.

Alex liked it all.

Ethan was spreading it all over the place, but he ate a little bit. He also like the actual cake part best.

The birthday party was a blast. Thanks to all who attended!!

August 17

The boys got a pool for their birthday. I decided to put it to good use one day after dinner. The boys were pretty messy from their meal, James was not home from work yet, and I didn't want to try and do baths up in their bathroom all by myself. So I pulled the pool out, put it in the kitchen, and filled it with water.

The boys LOVED it. It was easy for me to do too. James came home and just had to take a picture of it though... so here you go for your amusement.


August 18

I don't have any pictures from this day, but I do have a lot to share.

Alex started crawling that morning. He had been army crawling/scooting around on his belly for a few days, but he got up on his hands and knees that morning and just took off. I was so proud of him!! I have to get a good video of him crawling. He is all over the house now. We have to finish baby proofing the house now (most of it is done, we just have to put a few more locks on cabinets.)

That afternoon we had the boys' 1 year check up. A friend from church joined me at the doctors office so I didn't have to try and wrangle them all by myself. She was a God-send!!

The boys are growing great and developing great. The doc said that they are right where they are supposed to be developementally (9 month olds).

Here are their 1 year stats.

Alex - 20lbs 13oz, 29.5 inches
Grant - 22lbs 3oz, 29 inches
Ethan - 17lbs 6oz, 27.5 inches

Alex may be lighter than Grant, but he is surely keeping up on height! Ethan is finally catching up on height a bit, but is still behind on weight. That is ok. He is on his own growth curve and that is all they want to see for him.

We started the boys on whole milk on their birthday and they have been doing great with it. It saves us a lot of money now. Instead of spending about $300 a month on formula, we will spend about $50 a month on milk. A gallon of milk lasts us about a day and a half (maybe). But it saves us so much money. I am so glad that they can drink it and are not alergic or anything. However, they WILL NOT drink it cold. They flat out refuse. Any suggestions on how to get them from warm milk to cold milk would be greatly appreciated.

We are still working on getting them to be able to eat "table food" not baby food anymore. They are progressing slowly. They still have gagging episodes and throw up some, but they are getting better at it. We even started feeding them 3rd foods for dinner (they used to have a duel texture issue, but they are getting over that.) They are getting teeth to start and chew things up, instead of just gumming things.

Teeth count....
Alex- 5 total- 3 bottom, 2 top
Grant- 4 total- 2 bottom, 2 top (kind of, one top one is still pushing through)
Ethan- 2 total- 2 bottom

August 21

My mom came to visit and attend a meeting this past weekend. She didn't get to see the boys much but when she did she had some quality time with them. We even got a picture of her holding all three (this is a rare thing to happen lately as they all want to go and move constantly). It turned out well.


The boys also went to a friends house for the evening so James and I could have a night off!! It was their FIRST time at a sitters house. I think it was our first time to have a baby sitter so we could go out in the evening (other than Grandparents that is). It was really nice to be able to go out. The boys did ok. They were in a strange place so they didn't sleep well. Alex threw up on one of the girls helping out (I felt really bad that happened but she took it well). But we may just be able to use them again for a sitter if we need to. It might be nice to have someone to watch the boys once in a while so James and I can have a date. We'll see though.

Whew... you made it!!! Do you feel exhausted? Well, just keep on keeping on, and soon you will get the hang of it.

Oh, ok. I'll stop with the cheesy workout video references.

Thanks for reading. And thank you for all the thoughts and prayers throughout this past year. I know that those prayers have carried us through some rough times.

God bless you all.

Love,
Jessica

Milestones in weight and feeding

Ethan passed the 4 lb mark tonight. He is now eating 6mls every 3 hours. Pray that he continues to tolerate this all and can start eating just breastmilk soon.

Alex ate a HUGE 25mls from the bottle tonight. Good progress, since he has only ever taken 14 or 11 from me! He is now weighing 4lbs 11oz.

Grant ate a whooping 35mls from the bottle tonight. That is the most he has taken so far!! He is now 5lbs 6oz. They are all getting close to eachother!

Mommy and Daddy are doing well and happy to see their boys growing and changing everyday. We want them home soon, but all in God's time. Your prayers are still much appreciated!! Thank you so very much.

Prayers for Ethan please

Ethan will be going into surgery Friday afternoon. It is an exploratory surgery to see if there is something wrong with his bowel since he hasn't been able to tolerate feedings, he had that infection, and he has the swollen belly. We hope there is nothing wrong, but if there is something, they will be able to fix it then. Please keep him in your prayers. We want him to get well and start being able to eat and tolerate food.

I'll update as soon as I can here. Thank you.

Another Week...

Well, Baby C has bought us at least another week in here! His dopplar looked really good today. It still has not changed, it is still absent, but at least it is not reverse.

So, things are progressing. I am 29 weeks today (or yesterday by the time you read this probably). That is a good milestone. Dr. P wants to get us to at least 31 if not more. We are cautiously optomistic that we will be going longer than that.

The way I am feeling these days, I wouldn't care if they took them now or later. I don't see how they have any more room to grow. I am just stretching and stretching each day. There are quite a few more contractions now, but I am sure it is just from the boys moving.

We have an acrobat on our hands with Baby B. He has decided that he can't decide which way to lay. One week he is transverse (or head down toward my pelvis), the next week he is breach (head up by my ribs). Seriously, in the almost 3 weeks we have been here he has gone from transverse, to breach, to transverse, back to breach. We'll see how long he stays this way. I don't know how he does it, but he must be kicking the other two around. (I think we have found our little dominant one!!)

I have some pictures to post of some stuff that I have received lately, but I will have to do that tomorrow. I have already taken my medicine for the night and will probably fall asleep within a few minutes. So, for now, I will let you go.

Know that your prayers are still appreciated and we hope that you know you are also in our prayers. Thank you. Good night.
Jessica

Explanation of Baby C's Absent Diastolic Flow

So, I know a few of you are actually wondering what it is that is making Baby C so sick. I finally found an explanation for you, because I could NOT remember what the doctor explained it as. I know James heard it all, but I didn't. So...

Absent diastolic flow in the umbilical cord is when blood moves forward only when the heart is contracting.

If Baby C gets bad enough, he may end up having this... Reverse diastolic flow in the cord. When the blood moves back toward the heart when the heart relaxes. (Found this info at http://www.tttsfoundation.org/questions_explained.php)

So, we want to keep praying that it is just absent and never gets to reverse. We also want to make it the next 2 1/2 weeks to 30 weeks! That is what we have our sights set on right now! I only pray that God keeps C and all the rest of us safe until (or past) then.

Thank you for the continuing thoughts and prayers.

Fireproof.... a highly recommended movie... coming to a theater near you!

I highly recommend watching the Videos. This is a movie I am going to go see with James!

Update on Sunday School

So, we went to Sunday school this past Sunday. James wasn't going to go, but the church announced our pastor candidate last week and he felt he needed to be there in case there were questions. Well, we went.

The discussion started out standard, with the opinion that we need to love everyone and that God loves every one! I agreed. However, the discussion started to peak up when someone suggested that we do not need to "evangelize." We should not try and convert people to Christianity. I sat and listened for a while. Trying to get a grip on what I wanted to say. But James jumped in first. He asked the people what they felt about Missionaries. The person said that if a missionary is going out to help build houses and help people that way, but if they are going to try and convert people, then they should not go!


WHAT?????!!!!!!??????


Ok, so I had to sit and listen for a while longer to understand where the person was coming from. They still didn't make sense, but I let a couple of others (including James) argue.


Then the topic of universalist vs. dualist views came up. Here is my understanding of them both. As a universalist, a person believes that all people go to Heaven, no matter what. A dualist believes that there is Heaven and Hell and that only those "saved" will go to Heaven. Everyone else is condemned to Hell. (As you have probably guessed, I am a dualist, and may in our class are universalists).


So, going back to the topic of living our lives as good people (from a previous post), a bunch of people in class started saying that the dualist view is a "FUNDAMENTALIST" view! (Am I a fundamentalist? Seriously?) I had to sit there and gawk. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Just because I believed what the Bible taught, meant that James, a couple of others in the class, and I are all fundamentalists. Oh boy. Do we have our work cut out for us!


Well, I finally had to speak up! I said that being a dualist is NOT bad. I am not a fundamentalist. Just because I believe that some people are going to Heaven and some people are going to Hell does not mean that I do not try and love every one of my neighbors (i.e. everyone I come into contact with.) Granted, I do not know what God is thinking, or do I even have a small incling of His power. All I know is that I need to follow the Bible and what it directs me to do with my life.


Now that I said that, we got back on to the topic of missionaries and conversion. (For some reason there are a couple of words that some people in the class think are "bad words." They are conversion, evangelical, evangelize--any of those--, fundamental, and a couple of others I can think of right now.) Anyway, the couple of people said that they don't think they need to worry about where people go when they die. They are just going to live good lives and if those people want to know, then they will tell them, but they don't care about converting them.


I then said, well, if you are going to live a "good life" you need to live it intentionally. You need to live with the intent to lead people to Christ, because that is what the Bible says to do. Matthew 28:16-20

"Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had
directed them. And when they saw him they worshiped him, but some doubted. And
Jesus came and said to them, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been
given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in
the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to
observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the
end of the age."

I laid it out this way. We are called by God to believe in Christ. Christ calls us to live a life centered on Him. We, therefore, try to live as much of a good life as possible, so people will see that we are authintic, so they can wonder why, and then they will ask, and then they will want to know Christ! Does that make sense??


I think I got my point across, and I was backed up by a few people. I tried to agree to disagree with these people, but it is very hard for me to do, when I know I have been called by Christ to "Make disciples of all nations."


I had to leave before the class was over (because of choir), but I wasn't overly frustrated. I actually didn't leave with high blood pressure, but I did speak my mind, so did James. I am still concerned for a few people and for this class, but all we can do is keep working at it and keep praying that God will use us

Confessional Time

I feel that I need to put this out there for a couple of people to know. There are a lot of reasons that I am living and doing the things I am doing, and here is one of them.

For the past year and a couple of months, James and I have been attempting to get pregnant. So far no luck. Here is why...

I have a condition that is called Polycystic Ovary Syndrom (PCOS) or Polycystic Ovarian Disease (PCOD). (here is the link to the info on my doc's website) Whatever you call it, it is where your ovaries have cysts on them and they do not, at least in my case, allow me to ovulate. My hormone levels are out of wack because of this, or because my hormones are out of wack I have PCOS. It's a "catch-22." There is also a possibility that my Thyroid could be causing some of this too. My doctor wants to check that again here in a couple of months.

Anyway, my doctor has encouraged me to lose weight. Losing weight can help with the PCOS and the possible thyroid issue. However, in another "catch-22" the PCOS can prevent me from losing weight, as can the possible thyroid issue. I find this all very frustrating.

My doctor has put me on the medication Metformin. She started me on a 500mg dose and said in 6 weeks if things are not getting back to normal in my body she will up the dosage. I have a call in to her right now to see if we are going to up to dosage.

Well, I figured I would put this all out there to let you all know. I know, where does privacy go these days. But, if I am going to be continually asked when we are going to have kids, I might as well have some place to point people to.

I would also like to ask for your prayers for us. We hope God blesses us and makes us parents sometime soon, but as you know, it is all in His timing. So your prayers would be appreciated. Thanks.

Update on Heaven & Hell vs nothing??

Sorry, this is a bit of rant/rave, but it gets better towards the end. I promise!

Sunday James and I decided to attend Sunday School (well, I told James we were going to attend.) Anyway, they were continuing to talk about the book, If God is Love (I'm going to refer to it as IGL). So, the class started out fine. Somehow they veered off onto the topic of politics, but eventually came back. I just sat and listened to the conversation for the right time to chime in. I am not sure what sparked me to start speaking, but I rebutted someone by saying something along the lines of "how can every person go to heaven if there are no consequences to actions?" James then chimed in and we started to say that belief in Christ is the only way to Heaven.

Oh no, though, that was not good enough! THE BOOK (IGL... not the Bible mind you) says that Christ isn't the ONLY way! WHAT???!!!!???? (it gets better) In the book IGL the author points out that the Bible says that Christ contradicts Himself in Luke and John as to the way of Salvation! WHAT!!!????!??!??!? I asked them to read me the passage in the book again...

Luke 10:25-28 is what they quoted. "On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?" "What is written in the Law?" he replied. "How do you read it?" He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" "You have answered correctly," Jesus replied. "Do this and you will live."

Then they quoted John 3:16 (but i'll expand it to 3:10-21) "You are Israel's teacher," said Jesus, "and do you not understand these things? I tell you the truth, we speak of what we know, and we testify to what we have seen, but still you people do not accept our testimony. I have spoken to you of earthly things and you do not believe; how then will you believe if I speak of heavenly things? No one has ever gone into heaven except the one who came from heaven—the Son of Man. Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the desert, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son. This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."

Ok... granted... I can see the assumed contradiction here. But a person has to read these two passages in different contexts and with a mind of faith. The Luke passage says to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind." Ok... I can do that! But the Lord, MY GOD, includes the TRINITY. Therefore, Christ, is my God. (He is not the Father, but He is the Son, the Savior!!) Jesus stated that He is the only way to Heaven. John 14:6 "Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

When Christ stated that we should follow the law of "Loving God and loving our neighbors" he did not say not to believe in Him. Loving God includes believing that He sent His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for our sins, so we may have eternal life to be with our Father in Heaven and worship Him FOREVER! What is your opinion on this "contradiction controversy?"

I wish I could speak as well or as much as I can write, and have enough time to express what I want to say. But alas, speaking when I am frustrated is a stumbling block for me. I tried to say these things, but I was interrupted and shot down fairly quickly.

The next conundrum that came up, was "If God doesn't let everyone in to Heaven, how can He disown his own children?" The example that was gave was this... If you were a parent, could you end your relationship with your child for doing something wrong? A bunch of people around the room piped in and said that they couldn't and therefore, how could God. I, then opened my big mouth! I said, "Then you mean to tell me, that if your child kicks, punches you, verbally abuses you, and spits on you every single day, you would not tell that child to stop? And if they didn't stop, once you have told them to stop consistently, you wouldn't have to remove yourself from that toxic relationship? You could still love that child, but you don't have to accept their actions."

Oh man, that seemed to set a couple of people off. I had to admit that I couldn't be sure I could do it, but most likely I would be able to. My theory is, you can still love that child, and not accept their actions. They can "repent" (keyword) and say they are sorry and follow in the rules of the house, and then I would have a relationship with them. But if they never repented, I could not say that I could ever have a relationship with them.

The thing is God is so much more than we are. I am sure He does not like the sins we do every single day! That is why He tells us to repent, believe, and then we can have eternal life with Him.
Some in the class did admit that they could not say one way or the other if they would do that with their children, but some in the class said they would never do that. I just didn't know how to respond. What is your response? What would you do? I know that we have no idea what God would do, but what do you think about what you have been taught about God and what He would do?

So, one other topic that was brought up was the fact that there are a lot of people out there that live very "righteous" (not in a Christian way) lives. One example given was, this person has this great friend who is Buddhist. This friend has taught this person more about spirituality than this person has learned in many years of going to church.

I did not have any comment at the time, but I came up with something during church. (I truly was listening, but something the pastor said made me think of a point I wanted to make.) I wrote down my comment on an insert in our bulletin. I said that, I don't care about what other people think and teach on their way to "eternal whatever." Some people may be good, and may do good things, but our works are not what grant us eternal life! Our believe in God, and that God sent Jesus, His son, to die on the cross so we have eternal life, is the basis of OUR/MY faith. If every person has eternal life, what are we here for? Why is there the church? Didn't Christ tell us to "go and make disciples of all nations?" (Matt. 28:19). If everyone is to go to Heaven, then why would have God sent Jesus to earth? If everyone, and anyone can go to Heaven, Jesus' death was in vain.

Needless to say, I am very passionate about this subject! I do believe that God can make exceptions in any case He wants to. But, I do think that we need to follow the WORD OF GOD, and therefore we do not have to count on God making an exception for us. God created us to live our lives in love. That was stated over and over again in this class. I MUST agree with that. But I have to say, I can love, God can love, but we do not have to accept actions for which God has said are evil/bad/wrong.

Which brings me to my next point. (I know this is long, but I need to get this out.) A couple of people in the class asked the question "What is wrong? How can we, since we are not God, know what is wrong?" James brought up the 10 Commandments! These things are WRONG. (This is what Exodus 20:1-17 says)

And God spoke all these words:
"I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.
"You shall have no other gods before me.
"You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand of those who love me and keep my commandments.
"You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.
"Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or maidservant, nor your animals, nor the alien within your gates. For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.
"Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.
"You shall not murder.
"You shall not commit adultery.
"You shall not steal.
"You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.
"You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor."

I believe that doing those things are wrong. Do you? These are the guides to figure out what is wrong and what is right in God's eyes. Am I correct in that assumption?

Now there are a lot of things that individual churches/denominations have declared wrong, that may not be wrong in other churches/denominations. I think this is where LOVE comes in. I may believe that something someone is doing is wrong, and they may think it is right. We both may have scripture to back up our views. I do not have to agree with that person that they are right, but I do HAVE to love that person! God is the one who judges. I have been called not to judge. (See Matthew 7:1-5) All I can do for the person I disagree with is share my perspective, let them share theirs, listen, love, and pray that God's will is done in my heart and in that persons heart!

We are called to love God and our neighbors. We are also called to do so much more.

I want to ask you, do you believe in Christ? Do you believe God sent His Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for YOU? If you do, I pray that you are preaching and teaching to as many souls as you can reach.

If this is the first time you have heard of Christ, knowing more is easy. Ask God to open your heart and your mind to His word. Ask Christ to come into your heart and seek Him out. Get yourself a Bible and read it. Find a church where you can express your beliefs, and yet be challenged to find the truth in the Word.

I know this took a quirky turn towards the end, but I know there is some reason for this. Some reason for the questions. I am being tested so my faith can become stronger!

By the way, I found all my Bible quotes at http://www.biblegateway.com/. I also found some references in the Bible about Hell and the Devil... Hell (Luke 16:23; Matt 5:22,29, 30; Mark 9:43,45,47; 2Peter 2:4) Devil/Satan (Job [throughout the book]; Zach. 3:1; Luke 4:1-13; Matt 13:39; John 6:70 & 13:27; 2 Thes 2:9; 1 Tim 5:15; Rev. 12:9)

Let me know what you think.... Leave a comment or email me. Thanks.

"I Would Die For That"

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Honest to God

"We avoid Lent and Holy Week because it isn’t a happy and uplifting time—but to be honest, neither is most of life. Sometimes we come to church all scrubbed up, dressed nicely, with smiles on our faces, and when people ask how we are, we reply that everything is fine and we even boast how wonderful things are—but it is all a lie. Life is not always uplifting, or wonderful, or pleasant, or joyous—but we have been taught the lie that for spiritual people like us, it must be so. So we become play actors, hypocrites—telling ourselves that by lying, we are having faith, and that if we lie enough, the bad things will fade away, like a dream upon awakening." -Rev. Ken Collins

Read the rest of this essay at http://www.kencollins.com/hope-23.htm. It is very interesting!

Challenge for Lent

Scripture for this Ash Wednesday.

If you are to fast for these 40 (actually 49 till Easter) days, take head to what Matthew says at the end of this post.

Listen to the words of this hymn "Lord, Who Throughout These Forty Days":

Lord, who throughout these forty days for us did fast and pray,
teach us with you to mourn out sins and close by you to stay.
As you did hunger and did thirst so teach us, gracious Lord,
to die to self, and so to live by your most holy Word.
And through these days of penitence, and through your Passiontide,
forevermore, in life and death, O Lord, with us abide.
Abide with us, that through this life of doubts and hope and pain,
an Easter of unending joy we may at last attain!

Words by Claudia F. Hernaman

"Blow a trumpet in Zion; sound an alarm on my holy mountain! Let all the inhabitants of the land tremble, for the day of the LORD is coming; it is near, a day of darkness and gloom, a day of clouds and thick darkness! Like blackness there is spread upon the mountains a great and powerful people; their like has never been before, nor will be again after them through the years of all generations." Joel 2:1-2

"Yet even now," declares the LORD, "return to me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning; and rend your hearts and not your garments." Return to the LORD your God, for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love; and he relents over disaster. Who knows whether he will not turn and relent, and leave a blessing behind him, a grain offering and a drink offering for the LORD your God? Blow the trumpet in Zion; consecrate a fast; call a solemn assembly; gather the people. Consecrate the congregation; assemble the elders; gather the children, even nursing infants. Let the bridegroom leave his room, and the bride her chamber. Between the vestibule and the altar let the priests, the ministers of the LORD, weep and say, "Spare your people, O LORD, and make not your heritage a reproach, a byword among the nations. Why should they say among the peoples, 'Where is their God?'" Joel 2:12-17

"Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. Working together with him, then, we appeal to you not to receive the grace of God in vain. For he says, "In a favorable time I listened to you, and in a day of salvation I have helped you." Behold, now is the favorable time; behold, now is the day of salvation." 2 Corinthians 5:20-6:2

"Beware of practicing your righteousness before other people in order to be seen by them, for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven. "Thus, when you give to the needy, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. "And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites. For they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you." Matthew 6:1-6

"And when you fast, do not look gloomy like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by others. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward. But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face, that your fasting may not be seen by others but by your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you. "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." Matthew 6:16-21

Listen to the words of the hymn "Have Thine Own Way, Lord!":

Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way!
Thou are the Potter, I am the clay.
Mold me and Make me after they will,
while I am waiting yeielded and still.
Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way!
Wounded and weary, help me, I pray!
Power--all power--surely is thine!
Touch me and heal me, Savior divine!
Have thine own way, Lord! Have thine own way!
Hold over my being absolute sway!
Fill with they Spirit till all shall see
Christ only, always, living in me!

Words by Adelaide A Polland

"Have mercy on me, O God, according to your steadfast love; according to your abundant mercy blot out my transgressions. Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin! For I know my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be justified in your words and blameless in your judgment. Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me. Behold, you delight in truth in the inward being, and you teach me wisdom in the secret heart. Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones that you have broken rejoice. Hide your face from my sins, and blot out all my iniquities. Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit. Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will return to you. Deliver me from bloodguiltiness, O God, O God of my salvation, and my tongue will sing aloud of your righteousness. O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth will declare your praise. For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering. The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." Psalm 51

10 Facts You Should Know About American Baptists

This is published by the ABCUSA and is useful to understand me and my faith. I may not agree wholy with everything that is put for in these 10 facts, they are a foundation for my beliefs.

The 1.5-million members and 5,800 congregations of American Baptist Churches USA share with more than 43 million Baptist around the world a common tradition begun in the early 17th century. That tradition has emphasized the Lordship and atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ, believers' baptism the competency of all believers to be in direct relationship with God and to interpret Scripture, the importance of the local church, the assurance of freedom in worship and opinion, and the need to be Christ's witnesses within society. The following facts are representative of the tradition and practice of American Baptists.

1. American Baptists believe that Jesus Christ is Lord and Savior, and that the Bible is the divinely inspired word of God that serves as the final written authority for living out the Christian faith.
American Baptists celebrate the fact that belief in Jesus Christ assures salvation and eternal fellowship with a loving God. The events of the first Easter week are the cornerstones of our faith: the death of Christ, in which He took upon Himself the sin of the world, and the Resurrection, which gave proof of His triumph over sin and death. Holy Scripture always had been for American Baptist the authoritative and trustworthy guide for knowing and serving the God who is revealed and Creator, Savior, and Advocate.

2. For American Baptists the local church is the fundamental unit of mission in denomination life.
Baptist roots date back four centuries to a people seeking the opportunity to worship God as individual members of freely organized and freely functioning local churches. Baptists always have maintained the need for autonomous congregations, responsible for articulating their own doctrine, style of worship and mission.

3. American Baptists partake of two ordinances: believers' baptism and The Lord's Supper.
Baptism, an act of full immersion following Christ's example, is undertaken by those spiritually mature enough to understand its profound, symbolic significance: resurrection to new life in Christ. Through The Lord's Supper, or Holy Communion, the bread and cup that symbolize the broken body and shed blood offered by Christ recall God's great love for us-just as they did for the disciples on the eve of Christ's crucifixion.

4. American Baptists believe that the committed individual Christian can and should approach God directly, and that individual gifts of ministry should be shared.
American Baptists hold that all who truly seek God are both competent and called to develop in that relationship. They have rejected creeds or other statements that might compromise each believer's obligation to interpret Scripture under the guidance of the Holy Spirit and within the community of faith. American Baptists also celebrate the special gifts of all believers, testifying that God can use each of us in ministry.

5. American Baptists take seriously the call to evangelism and missionary work.
American Baptists worldwide mission work is a response to Christ's call to "make disciples of all nations." Through the efforts of our missionaries in partnership with others, ministries of evangelism, healing, education and development have made Christ's love know in the U.S. and around the world.

6. American Baptists support religious freedom and respect the expressions of faith of others.
As a people whose forbears came together in response to intolerance, American Baptists have cherished freedom and pursued it for millions around the world. Manifestations of that ideal include supporting separation of church and state, advocating for people everywhere to be guaranteed the right to worship free form discrimination, and lifting up respectful dialog and a healthy means to understanding.

7. American Baptists acknowledge that God's family extends beyond our local churches, and that God calls us to cooperative ministries.
Early Baptists saw that the effectiveness of their ministries would be greater through cooperation with other believers. Today within our American Baptist regions, churches work with each other and with denominational staff and in local and regional ecumenical arenas to increase the vitality and scope of their ministries. That outreach extends worldwide through our relationships with Baptist World Alliance, the National Council of Churches of Christ, the World Council of Churches and other groups.

8. American Baptists have been called to be Christ's witnesses for justice and wholeness within a broken society.
American Baptists have been led by the Gospel mandates to promote holistic change within society, as witnessed by their advocacy of freed African Americans following the Civil War, the Civil Rights Movement, women in church and societal leadership, ecological responsibility, and many other issues. While not all of one mind as to how to deal with challenges, American Baptists do affirm the need to follow Christ's example by being actively involved in changing society.

9. American Baptist Churches USA celebrates the racial, cultural and theological diversity witnessed within its membership.
American Baptist Churches USA today is the most racially inclusive Protestant body. Represented in our churches are equally diverse worship styles, cultural mores and approaches to Scriptural interpretation. The resulting challenges and opportunities have made us stronger - through fellowship, respect, mutual support and dialog, all based on a belief that unity in Christ involves growth and understanding.

10. American Baptists heed the biblical call to renewal and the need for a vital witness in a new millennium.
As people of faith, American Baptists seek renewal and revitalization. Informed by their history and tradition, motivated by contemporary needs and challenges, and strengthened by God's leading and example and sacrifice of their Savior, American Baptists seek to bring a transforming witness to an uncharted future.

Prayer to My God in Heaven Above

My heart fills with love for You
my life is filled and made so new
You died up there just for me
You died just to set me free
free form all I have done wrong
free to let me sing Your song
praises I send You now
never asking why or how
You knw my hear, my soul, my mind
and when I talk to you I un-wind
from all the days joys and woes
to than You for all, only You know
You bless me in every way
that is why I say what I say
please bless me now in my own life
and help me make my decisions right
Your will is what I hope for me
not mine, but Yours, forever will be
please help me find what you know is true
let it only and honestly glorify You
You are my only rock and prayer
You know my every though, action, and hair
I ask you to forgive me for all I have done
Thank you Lord, the battle is won!

Notes from Pastor John Turnage (taken from FBC Loveland newsletter)

I recieve the First Baptist Church of Loveland, CO, newsletter "The Visitor" every month. I found this ponderings by the pastor, John Turnage, particularly interesting and helpful. I think it might be helpful and insightful for you too.

Many centuries ago, our Christian forefathers spent many hours developing the sense of God's presence, trying to understand how the spirit was leading and what they might do as servants of Jesus Christ. Hours of prayer and discussion were easily set aside for these endeavors. Time was of little concern in a world where the pace of life followed the seasons. Waiting a week, a month or several years did not weigh on them. I have often wondered how to slow down my day or life and spend hours searching for an understanding of God's will and ways. Although we say we want more of God in our lives, I find myself questioning where God will fit into my agenda and day timer. Are we too busy for God?

The world has certainly changed, and we have adapted to the frenetic, hurried, demanding 24/7 schedules. We have adapted, but I'm not sure that was the way we were made. Has God changed to adapt to our world and schedules? Is God in a hurry like we are? The Psalmist says "Be still and know that I am God." (Ps. 46:10) Can I be still quickly?

Our busy, busy world is not geared to the spiritual life and the disciplines of reflection, prayer, meditation, and repentance. And yet somehow in this busy world we have to find time for rest, restoration, healing, and presence, which are the fruits of a spiritual life.

You can still be busy and have a spiritual life that is growing and connects you the spirit. We simply need to think about spirituality in some different ways. Here are some ideas for a spiritual life in a 24/7 world.

Turn off noise makers, like radios, the television, and Ipods. We are bombarded with noise. This last winter I stepped outside when it was snowing and could hear the silence. We receive so much input that we do not have time to process it. Simply cutting out the background noise and input helps us step away from the busyness. When you are in your car, leave the music and radio off. You will be amazed at what you discover and how much less stress is present. If you are really brave, turn off your cell phone for a couple of hours every day. Who knows, maybe you will hear the "still small whisper."

Be kind. An insurance commercial shows people doing simple and easy acts of kindness, which lead to more acts of kindness. The care and concern grows without one ever speaking a word. Kindness is spiritual and it is very easy. A smile, a little helping hand, a little time helps others in ways that cannot be measured. It does wonders for our spirituality. It acknowledges the other without really knowing them. And it is right in line with what Jesus did to so many who just happened along his path. Kindness changes your whole being.

Join a community or group. Spirituality has moments of reflection and quiet. However, most spirituality emerges in fellowship and community. One of the byproducts of our electronic world is a growing sense of disconnect. People talk about being alone and isolated. This isolation is a great issue. Almost everyone I talk to knows of someone who is alone. We are made and programmed for community. For a deep spiritual experience, one needs a group or friends. Love is the element that binds us together. If we cannot join with others, how do we nurture that love?

Be generous. You may not have time to go on a mission, pack boxes that are headed to the mission field, or join a group building a house, but you can participate with a gift. All mission efforts require funding. ideally one can both go and give to a mission. However, setting aside a week or ten days can be difficult. Your gift connects you to the mission field and empowers the mission. In some ways, you are paying someone else to do what you cannot. This is a bit like the early church collecting an offering to send Paul and Barnabas out to do what they were not free to do.

Spirituality is not as time consuming as we think. Small things and attitudes can create a rich spiritual experience. Spirituality is more available and easy than we believe. God waits for you!

Doors- opened or unlocked??

God has a weird way of presenting His plan. He will open doors and will shut others. He sometimes will just unlock the door and let you do the opening!

We have found that out these past couple of months. James was finding that his job was just unsettling for him. He felt that his company was not using him to his potential. He was getting a little antsy in his job so he just on a whim decided to post his resume on Monster.com. The next day he had 5 phone calls. In the follow weeks he had 3 interviews and this past Friday he accepted a new job.

This is so a great thing for us. Since I quit my full time job and am now only working part time, we have been having a tight time. We still were doing ok, but the new job for James will help us pay off some bills we have, keep us from pinching pennies so much, and allow us a stable start for a family when God chooses to bless us with children. I am so glad that God heard our prayers.

So back to the doors. I was talking to James about this last night. I don't necessarily think God initially opened the door for James to get a new job, but He did unlock it! He gave James the pressing on his heart that he should look for another job. It wasn't like he needed another one, but God knew he was needing a change. So, he gave James the knowledge of what to do and the patience to wait for the right job to come along. Once God found that James was approaching the door, after He had unlocked it, He did open it for him.

Here are some verses from the Bible that talk about money.

• Proverbs 13:11 "Dishonest money dwindles away, but whoever gathers money little by little makes it grow."
• Proverbs 21:5 "The plans of the diligent lead to profit as surely as haste leads to poverty."
• Proverbs 23:4 "Do not wear yourself out to get rich; have the wisdom to show restraint."
• Romans 13:8 "Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law. "
• Hebrews 13:5 "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'"
• Deuteronomy 8:10-18 "When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you. Be careful that you do not forget the LORD your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day. Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. He led you through the vast and dreadful desert, that thirsty and waterless land, with its venomous snakes and scorpions. He brought you water out of hard rock. He gave you manna to eat in the desert, something your fathers had never known, to humble and to test you so that in the end it might go well with you. You may say to yourself, "My power and the strength of my hands have produced this wealth for me." But remember the LORD your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth, and so confirms his covenant, which he swore to your forefathers, as it is today."
• Proverbs 3:9-10 "Honor the LORD with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine."
• 2 Corinthians 9:11 "You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God. "

I suppose that is enough for today. I do believe that God has blessed us and I praise Him for answering our prayers with a "yes" and not a "no"!